You know, I have a lot of respect for you having the balls to just open up about it and admit it's you.Taxious wrote:Fuck it, I need to rant some about this. The guy I'm talking about is me, and the "girl" was my BF. Thanks a lot, asshole, for making me feel even more shitty about life and myself. GDI I wish I wasn't such a horrible judge of character.
This makes me 2 for 2 so far on the "I get into shitty relationships" scale. Both times I've been in lolove, it's ended because I find out the guy is cheating on me. Notice that it's "I find out" and not "they tell me" either. No one fucking cares until it's over, then it's all "I miss you, I love you, blah blah blah."
Yes.Klast Brell wrote:I hope they were using condoms.
Correct. I do hate what happened, but part of me honestly thinks that there isn't much better. Maybe this is just the way things are in the world and I'm the one that needs to change. I hate to play the "homo" card, but perhaps we live in different worlds where cheating is normal? Every gay couple (even the 10+ year ones) I've known has had some issue in their relationship where one of the people has fucked someone else.Select wrote:Yea, your friend isn't apathetic for sure. Just a ploy so he feels better. He's coming up with lame excuses to justify it because deep down under the denial, he hates it and he knows exactly how he feels. Just keep watching and you'll see problems surface. Though, the wimp needs to at least talk to her about it.
This emotional stuff kills me, I'm not sure how to handle it. I keep reminding myself that with time, things will wash away, but it sure sucks right now.
It's not you, it's just young adult relationships. Most young couples I know struggle with this - gay and straight. It's more of 20's thing I swear. It seems like once people get to their late 20's and then enter their 30's they are finally ready to really commit to someone. This is in the broadest of general terms, because some people never are ready, but I think when we get to this point, we're not worried about what we might be missing, we're more self-confident, more financially secure, we're growing into who we are going to be and know more about what we want. I think all of that lends to healthier more mature relationships. We start picking people that "fit", we have higher standards. It's not ONLY about what we're attracted to physically (thought chemistry is really important), but the entire package and that includes how they make us feel, is there trust and mutual respect? That sort of thing. Cheating is a violation of both those things that are really the foundation of a relationship.
I really don't think it has anything to do with being gay other than it's double the male dynamic of a relationship. Two of the gay male couples I know are both going through the process of adoption right now and have been married for 4-5 years & the other 8 years (they are in the 29-34 yr old neighborhood). Actually in my circle the lesbians seem to be the biggest cheaters - they so easily move in with the next girl it's amazing. The joke is true, what does a lesbian bring on her second date? A U-Haul.